I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize