She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize