I think im going to throw up on grandma
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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