I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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