I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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