I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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