Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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