This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
