oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We are all done wearing pants today
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
