Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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