The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
is it fun? or sober?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
