At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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