Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
