I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize