I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize