he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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