Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
