Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
