so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm really busy with my period
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