Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
