return my video game
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
