All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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