I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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