she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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