Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm always down for nudity.
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