he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
