So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
