Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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