i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
