i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
