Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
