he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
