Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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