so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
