Did you just see the Batmobile???
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
