I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
