I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
