you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
