just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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