if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
