How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
