Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
