STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
