Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize