Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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