You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
