1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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