Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize