I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
