i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
