Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
