Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
