nut hugger
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
