Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
