the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize