It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
