I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
