one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
