I'm really into asian looking animals
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize