Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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